These four words, ‘ a negative pregnancy test’, is what stand out when we are trying for a baby and
- we miss a period,
- our period is delayed and/or
- at the end of our two week wait period after our assisted
I’m going to in invite you to first of sit with the results, acknowledge it with the emotions that come up and then replace these four words ‘ a negative pregnancy test’ with ‘an invitation to flow’.
Sit with the results
“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.”
We are so programmed to be result driven that when we put so much effort in a particular task and it does not give us what we expect, instead of reflecting, we put all our effort for the next round of results. Having a goal in life is key as it propels us to move forward, however at times when we keep trying and trying and trying, it is important to take a few moments of breathing space to investigate what is actually happening.
When we receive a negative pregnancy test, depending on our current situation, our state of mind and responsibilities, allocate some time to to process what has happened. Book some time in your diary to sit with the results. One simple way to do this is to engage in a body scan. This is an mindfulness tool, where you scan your entire body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes or the other way round. There is no judgement, rather it is developing a sense of curiosity to explore the sensations in your body. The framework I use is the triple A process which is all about Attuning to the body, Acknowledge your emotions and be Aware of your thoughts. So this is one of the ways to start processing the results by investigating what is happening the body. In the wise words of Plutarch “The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” This sense of curiosity will lead the way to guide you to kindle the fire.
Acknowledge the emotions
“I embrace my emotions, acknowledge my fears with compassion and release them with love.”
― Wholistic Inc
When we are the quagmire of our despondency, the last thing we want to do is acknowledge our emotions, however that is the very action which will help us float and bring us back to harmony. I’m sharing with you two ways which are gentle and effective to help us come back to the present and ourselves by acknowledging our emotions.
Journaling is a great tool to start acknowledging your emotions. Once we are able to tune into our body, gradually the emotions we are experiencing will surface. Writing these emotions will help us to acknowledge them. There is a process that initiates in our brain, goes through our neural pathways of our arms and fingers that reduces e the sting of our emotional distress through writing.
Emotional Freedom Technique is a somatic approach to emotions where we give ourselves the permission to love and accept ourself with compassion and kindness. That is what we need when see that one line on the pregnancy test which usually reveals we have not conceived. I’ve created a free program where for 21 days we use emotional freedom technique for different common emotions to help us come back to balance. The link for the course is here.
An invitation to flow
When you expand your awareness, your energy flows freely. You’re more flexible, balanced, and creative. You view yourself and the world with more compassion and understanding. You have more energy and are open to new possibilities.
― Deepak Chopra
Our initial response when we experience negative news is different for all us. However when we are going through a distressful moment the last thing we want to hear is that it will be okay, try again, you are young, you already have one child. This is the reason why the invitation to go with the flow is the third and final suggestion I have for you. Only when you attune into your body, acknowledge your emotions, can you go with the flow. It is, in this going with the flow, which will keep us aware of our thoughts, the triggers which will prevent us us back into this negative cycle of overthinking. One of the ways to go with the flow is to objectively observe your thoughts which I’ve shared in ‘Labelling your thoughts’ episode of my podcast.
Concluding thoughts & 2 gifts for you
Systematically we can navigate through the result of a negative pregnancy test and accept the invitation to flow. It is Fertility Week during 3rd and 5th November and I have two gifts for you. First is a free guided hypnosis session for Deep Relaxation for Fertility (link) which will help you come out the other end towards the ray of hope. The second gift is a inspiring, raw and wonderful podcast episode with Sophie Jane Hardy where we talk about ‘Infertility, Courage and Resilience’.